JuSt 4 U...

I know u might read this cos i know u got read my blog...
Do u know i feel happy when i know u did...
Cos this means u did care for me n wanna know wats happening wif me...
Now u r sitting in front of me...
We seem like normal colleague tat is busying wif our own work...
U do your work quietly...
We did speak, but mostly cos of work...
I feel tat u speak wif other more than me...
When speak wif other, theres smile on your face...
But when speaks wif me, most of the time wif serious look...
I know u might think tat i am also the same...
But tell the truth, i don like to being like this...
Deep in my heart, i really feel regrets..
Regrets wif every mistake i do...
Regrets of asking u come to work wif me...
When things happen, we keep silent wif each other...
When we talk bout our matters, u always say suan la, cos is already over...
But deep in your heart, u really can put all the matters away??
There's sure some scares in your heart on each argument we have...
And it will be compiled to be a big scares after some argument...
U might think tat i have change a lot...
Yes, i did... Theres changes in my emotion, attitude n personality...
Change to be someone tat u might not like & cannot stand on...
But do u think i am happy wif my changes...
The person tat talks n share out the problem is me...
No matter sad o happy things, i did share wif u...
But nowadays, did u do the same....
Don tell me, u have nth to share...
Don tell me, nothing happen to u...
Theres sure something to share each day...
Not tat i don care...
I did ask u, but u tell me nothing to share...
Nothing i can say, just knock n keep quiet...
Is been sometime, i din see the sincere smile n laugh on yr face...
Each time u show me the faked smile..
Do u know it makes me sad...
Really miss all the happiness we had last time...
I know tat time will not return...
But is all a wonderful memory for me...
I am really thankful...
No matter how, u still by my side n support me...
Giving me advice....

THANK YOU :)

Aaaaa......

Aaaa.... I am really gonna explode.....
I don like being like tat... I don wanna face all this suffer d...
U might think tat only u r suffering from all this... but i wanna tell u... I might be more suffering than u....
I did say tat i care for u.... I cannot accept looking u moody n sad everyday... Seeing u keep silent n treat me like someone tat u don know...
U say tat everything is over n suan... But till the end u r same...
Come on.... Just tell me wat should i do now...
If u wanna me continue like this i really cannot face it.... Do u know tat i think of leaving this company cos of our argument... I don wanna spoild our frenship just cos of work...
But it seem like everything is too late d... Nothing i can do to save our frenship... really tired n suffer now.....
Y things always happen... Y can't we tolerate each other... I am really suffering... Suffering from all this is making me very tired....

Me Without My Soul, Brain N Heart..

Today back to work from 4 days leave... Recently go out very frequent, enjoy enjoy n enjoy... But y??? Y i always feel bad... Wats happening wif me...
It seem like my heart n brain is seperated from my body.. Heart feel bad n seem like hard to breath... Brain keep asking me to think but thinking nothing... Is just blank on my mind...
Feels so desperate n suffer... Wanna cry it out loud but no tears drop from my eyes... Wanna shout out loud, but hard for me to shout it loud.. Wat can i do?? Wat i really want??
Dear fren, u might think tat i am weird this few days... Is really not cos of u all.. But is my own problem.. I am the one who created the problem... I might think too much n being weird.. I did, i did try to change my mind... But it really hard, really really hard... I am real sorry sorry if i made u all feel uneasy... I know tat i am like a body without my soul, brain n heart.. I really did feel so... Feels like thr is no energy in me... When quiet, feel lazy to talk n remain silent.. when gila, make myself gila n laugh non stop...
Frenz... I really hope u all can pull me up now.. I really need yr caring hand to make me strong... Please fren, just a little might help a lot... Pls... I beg u.. I might not tell u wats happening... Not cos i don wanna share wif u all but i really don know wats on my mind.. aaaaa :'(

My FeElInG nOw.... :(

I don know wats my feeling n mood now...
I am happy n in a good mood this morning… Having u accompany me…
Thinks tat today might be a good day for me…
But after knowing something, my mood change….
Happy just ran off my mind n replace by moody….
Actual I do know wat I want, but is impossible to get it…
Being someone that is not really me…..
Keep thinking should I continue being like tat….
Am I really happy being like tat….
No no, I am not happy…. :(
Keep worrying bout this n tat…
Worry being hurt…
Worry being betray…
Worry being stupid…
Worry wat ppl might think…
Since tat moment, I keep on worrying…
Is it worth for me to do so…
I might go more deep…
I might hurt deeper….
I might be stupid…
But wat can I do now….
Please tell me…
Tell me wat should I do…
Tell me how to make u Happy…
Tell me how to make u trust me…
Tell me how to make u Believe in me…
Please Tell me… Please……

WaT m I tHiNkInG???

Wat m i thinking right now??? Is already 1.50am, n i am still online here... Tomolo have to wake up early somemore lo.. haiz....
I really don know lo.. But my heart keep calling me to write down my feeling now...
Things keep happen to me lo... Things tat i don know how to solve... My tears keep drop but i don know wat to do...
I am really suffer lo... i really scared i may seriously fall down one day... i really wish to talk to u, but i don know how to do so...
I also don know y things always happen to us... after facing a challenge, theres come another challenge... how long do i need to face all this challenge?? how long n how much challenge tat i still need to face o i can face... i really don know...
Whenever i ask u, u say nothing... I really do hope is nothing, but i can feel it n is not nothing... I do hope i feel wrong.. Do u know that whenever i ask u, i need to take out my braveness to ask u??? i do scared tat i might say something wrong o say something tat hurt u...
Wat can i do?? Am i care too much d??? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........
I am a failer... Fail in everything... Fail in my Work, Fail in my Study, Fail in my Frenship, Fail in my Relationship, Fail in my family... Everything fail.... Then y should i stay in this earth??? Y Y??? i am totally a big rubbish in this earth....

MeMoRy...

Is been sometime i nvr post my feeling here d... Being lazy to type it all out.. O mayb i have a good life now.. Does not have to express my feeling here lo...
Blog is really a place for me to share out my feeling... N also a place for me to recall my memory...
There are lots of thing i wanna share out, but i am too lazy to share out all lo... hmm... i just share out some that is still in my mind....
1st thing in my mind is SHE Concert lo... Is the 1st time i went to a concert... Keep thinking weather to go o not, till the end i bought the ticket.. hehe... When to the concert wif my dear n meet up wif evon n her fren lo.. we did enjoy a lot in the concert, it seem like a open air karaoke lo... is worth to go n nvr regret buying the ticket... A day tat i will not forget... Thank dear for accompany me go & thank keong for fetching us to bukit jalil....
2nd thing is 1st time meet wif net fren lo.. Bobo & Sonia... We went to wong kok at 1u for our lunch lo.. 1st impression of them is bobo look so cool, whereby she is wearing black spec... While sonia is so cute n seem so playful... haha... After sometime at 1u, we went to ikano to see pets... I did had a great day n is happy to know them lo...
Next is angie 1 month old party lo... Congrats to Keong & catherine lo.. We did have a good talk tat night till all of us r tired... & i notice something from someone... haiz... Really hope that she knows how to protect herself n love herself more... Body is ours n only we ourselves can protect lo... Welcome Angie to this world lo.. hehe... Hope that u can grow up Happily lo.. Smile

:(

Today i am emotionally tired...
After knowing something, my heart so pain n feels more tired… Don really knows how to explain my feeling now… But I feel the sadness in me…
True Friend is someone that will be by our side when we need them…...
Tolerate wif each other & care for each other....
Take out our mask n being trueself…
Believing each other & have a sincere heart…
Share our happiness & sadness together…
Yes… I admit that I might not a good fren… But I am a human being…
I have my weakness n also strength…
I am emotionally really really tired today… Being fan since early in the morning…
Really very tired……… Don knows how to express my feeling out… :)