New Study Life

I have been started wif my new life for a week...
People keep asking hows my new life?? Lots people think i am enjoying my new life...
Now i am asking myselve, Hows my new life??
I think ok is my best answer.. I did not enjoy it much & is not like wat i expected...
I think that me myselve have problem in adapting myselve in class.. Is hard for me to mix up wif my classmates... Is also hard to understand some of the lectures teaching..
I keep on pushing myselve to be hardworking & tell myselve to study hard... But when i reach home, i will sit down to face tv n laptop...
I keep on remind myselve to be socialise.. But when i reach college, i am just silent.. Y am i being so uninteractive...
I do hope that there is changes on me..
Be a POSITIVE person...

Last Day At HYT

Today was my last day work in HYT Food Industries....
I have been working here for 3 years...
From early i told myselve that i work as part time n for a short period only...
End up i become full timer here due to my BS paper.. Haiz...
Thr is up n down working here... Sweet n sour memories tat i will not forget...
I did really learn a lot from working in this company...
Not only on my job but also human personality & attitude...
I admit tat i did grow here n it did change my personality...
I will miss here & all my frens here..
Wif them, i have a better working life.. Thank to all of u...
Time pass very very fast..
Monday i gonna start my college..
Do hope tat it will change my life wif study life..
Wanna know more new friends & concentrate on my study...

JuSt 4 U...

I know u might read this cos i know u got read my blog...
Do u know i feel happy when i know u did...
Cos this means u did care for me n wanna know wats happening wif me...
Now u r sitting in front of me...
We seem like normal colleague tat is busying wif our own work...
U do your work quietly...
We did speak, but mostly cos of work...
I feel tat u speak wif other more than me...
When speak wif other, theres smile on your face...
But when speaks wif me, most of the time wif serious look...
I know u might think tat i am also the same...
But tell the truth, i don like to being like this...
Deep in my heart, i really feel regrets..
Regrets wif every mistake i do...
Regrets of asking u come to work wif me...
When things happen, we keep silent wif each other...
When we talk bout our matters, u always say suan la, cos is already over...
But deep in your heart, u really can put all the matters away??
There's sure some scares in your heart on each argument we have...
And it will be compiled to be a big scares after some argument...
U might think tat i have change a lot...
Yes, i did... Theres changes in my emotion, attitude n personality...
Change to be someone tat u might not like & cannot stand on...
But do u think i am happy wif my changes...
The person tat talks n share out the problem is me...
No matter sad o happy things, i did share wif u...
But nowadays, did u do the same....
Don tell me, u have nth to share...
Don tell me, nothing happen to u...
Theres sure something to share each day...
Not tat i don care...
I did ask u, but u tell me nothing to share...
Nothing i can say, just knock n keep quiet...
Is been sometime, i din see the sincere smile n laugh on yr face...
Each time u show me the faked smile..
Do u know it makes me sad...
Really miss all the happiness we had last time...
I know tat time will not return...
But is all a wonderful memory for me...
I am really thankful...
No matter how, u still by my side n support me...
Giving me advice....

THANK YOU :)

Aaaaa......

Aaaa.... I am really gonna explode.....
I don like being like tat... I don wanna face all this suffer d...
U might think tat only u r suffering from all this... but i wanna tell u... I might be more suffering than u....
I did say tat i care for u.... I cannot accept looking u moody n sad everyday... Seeing u keep silent n treat me like someone tat u don know...
U say tat everything is over n suan... But till the end u r same...
Come on.... Just tell me wat should i do now...
If u wanna me continue like this i really cannot face it.... Do u know tat i think of leaving this company cos of our argument... I don wanna spoild our frenship just cos of work...
But it seem like everything is too late d... Nothing i can do to save our frenship... really tired n suffer now.....
Y things always happen... Y can't we tolerate each other... I am really suffering... Suffering from all this is making me very tired....

Me Without My Soul, Brain N Heart..

Today back to work from 4 days leave... Recently go out very frequent, enjoy enjoy n enjoy... But y??? Y i always feel bad... Wats happening wif me...
It seem like my heart n brain is seperated from my body.. Heart feel bad n seem like hard to breath... Brain keep asking me to think but thinking nothing... Is just blank on my mind...
Feels so desperate n suffer... Wanna cry it out loud but no tears drop from my eyes... Wanna shout out loud, but hard for me to shout it loud.. Wat can i do?? Wat i really want??
Dear fren, u might think tat i am weird this few days... Is really not cos of u all.. But is my own problem.. I am the one who created the problem... I might think too much n being weird.. I did, i did try to change my mind... But it really hard, really really hard... I am real sorry sorry if i made u all feel uneasy... I know tat i am like a body without my soul, brain n heart.. I really did feel so... Feels like thr is no energy in me... When quiet, feel lazy to talk n remain silent.. when gila, make myself gila n laugh non stop...
Frenz... I really hope u all can pull me up now.. I really need yr caring hand to make me strong... Please fren, just a little might help a lot... Pls... I beg u.. I might not tell u wats happening... Not cos i don wanna share wif u all but i really don know wats on my mind.. aaaaa :'(

My FeElInG nOw.... :(

I don know wats my feeling n mood now...
I am happy n in a good mood this morning… Having u accompany me…
Thinks tat today might be a good day for me…
But after knowing something, my mood change….
Happy just ran off my mind n replace by moody….
Actual I do know wat I want, but is impossible to get it…
Being someone that is not really me…..
Keep thinking should I continue being like tat….
Am I really happy being like tat….
No no, I am not happy…. :(
Keep worrying bout this n tat…
Worry being hurt…
Worry being betray…
Worry being stupid…
Worry wat ppl might think…
Since tat moment, I keep on worrying…
Is it worth for me to do so…
I might go more deep…
I might hurt deeper….
I might be stupid…
But wat can I do now….
Please tell me…
Tell me wat should I do…
Tell me how to make u Happy…
Tell me how to make u trust me…
Tell me how to make u Believe in me…
Please Tell me… Please……

WaT m I tHiNkInG???

Wat m i thinking right now??? Is already 1.50am, n i am still online here... Tomolo have to wake up early somemore lo.. haiz....
I really don know lo.. But my heart keep calling me to write down my feeling now...
Things keep happen to me lo... Things tat i don know how to solve... My tears keep drop but i don know wat to do...
I am really suffer lo... i really scared i may seriously fall down one day... i really wish to talk to u, but i don know how to do so...
I also don know y things always happen to us... after facing a challenge, theres come another challenge... how long do i need to face all this challenge?? how long n how much challenge tat i still need to face o i can face... i really don know...
Whenever i ask u, u say nothing... I really do hope is nothing, but i can feel it n is not nothing... I do hope i feel wrong.. Do u know that whenever i ask u, i need to take out my braveness to ask u??? i do scared tat i might say something wrong o say something tat hurt u...
Wat can i do?? Am i care too much d??? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........
I am a failer... Fail in everything... Fail in my Work, Fail in my Study, Fail in my Frenship, Fail in my Relationship, Fail in my family... Everything fail.... Then y should i stay in this earth??? Y Y??? i am totally a big rubbish in this earth....